Assessing ways that life in the United States continues to grow less “united” over the last few weeks, months, and years, one can easily identify tangible ways our society is experiencing more challenging polarization of thought than ever before.
The political Left is quick to blame the Right, and the Right blames the Left just as vigorously.
Over this past weekend if you were watching a blend of news sources, you noticed that in the State of Georgia, now both liberals and conservatives are reacting negatively to Coca-Cola, Delta and Major League Baseball (among others still TBD) regarding the response of these businesses to the new voting laws that just passed in our state legislature. Sadly, this has quickly turned into a no-win situation for all parties involved (and even for private parties and customers not involved at all)! What is happening all around us today truly is a loss and can quickly lead to even more loss if we don’t learn (or remember) that there’s a MUCH better way.
At Converging Solutions we say that “Together we can do more than any one of us can alone…” and we believe it! We have a truly diverse team that not only looks different to the external observer, but even more importantly, thinks differently. Our team practices the courageous action of sharing differences of opinions, hopes, and concerns in a way that is open, yet responsible and respectful. It isn’t hard to disagree… and sharing our beliefs shouldn’t be detrimental to ourselves or others. However, the ground-breaking work of The Happiness Effect and The Social Dilemma suggests that psychologically, social media is stealing our ability to respect those who think differently from ourselves. In fact, because of the way social media collects our personal preferences, there becomes a self-approving, group-validating vortex that causes us to believe our way of thinking is better than those who are different from us.
Here’s an analogy. Twenty-plus years ago, there were significant differences between liberal and conservative thought in the U.S., and someone might describe such a heated conversation as a “whirlwind of ideas” that could be simultaneously stimulating, intriguing and bewildering. Now instead of “a whirlwind of thought” the combative nature of debate is more like a mile-wide tornado. Instead of blowing up dust, causing people to question assumptions, or challenging the status quo, these tornadoes seem determined to destroy everything in their path. And it isn’t just one tornado; these are twin storms, not only created by opposing forces, one twisting Left and the other Right, but by infighting to make itself stronger by destroying each other. These storms are doing serious damage… and everyone becomes a loser.
So who’s right and who’s wrong? I suggest that neither are. This isn’t a question of right or wrong (as much as both sides would like to suggest it is). Both platforms have serious abuses of power, and in the name of protecting the innocent, both have taken some pretty dark, morally indefensible short cuts. Histories have even been rewritten to try to create complementary narratives by both sides. So is everything relative? Are there no societal standards that can help us find our way? Is there no hope of peaceful life, liberty or justice? Of course there is!
Instead, I’d argue there is a tremendous opportunity for unity by learning the power of the “AND” rather than standing back to back with our “BUTs” in the air. It takes collaboration and teamwork, built on trust and goodwill. But there’s something even more foundational that must be in place before these noble societal building blocks can be set on a firm foundation: Love.
While I’d like to take credit for discovering this better way, it’s really been around long before Converging Solutions. For centuries actually. Love is recognizable as respect. It stands out among any crowd as honor and esteem. But both extremes have lost the ability to be reasonable. In the name of winning an argument and creating a social media sound-bite, we have resorted to shooting hateful arrows at anyone that disagrees. Almost every faith has as a core tenant a love for God and a love for our neighbors. Service with humility over self-promotion is another core value shared by many religious cultures.
Now I’m going to make all my conservative friends swear I’m a liberal, and all my liberal friends swear I must be a conservative… And I’m also going to ask both die-hard extremes to resist cancel culture and seek a better way!
Do you consider yourself a Liberal? Read statement “A” below. Do you consider yourself a Conservative? Read statement “B” below.
- Do you absolutely hate the pious, self-righteous, combative rhetoric of Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Candace Owens, Greg Kelly? Then you should consider just how pious, self-righteous, and combative are Chris Cuomo, Rachel Maddow, Don Lemon, John Oliver.
Was 95% of what Trump did as President abhorrent to you personally? Can you name five things that Biden is currently doing as President that equally concern you? - Do you absolutely hate the pious, self-righteous, combative rhetoric of Chris Cuomo, Rachel Maddow, Don Lemon, John Oliver? Then you should consider just how pious, self-righteous, and combative are Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Candace Owens, Greg Kelly.
Is 95% of what Biden is doing as President abhorrent to you personally? Can you name five things that Trump did as President that equally concerned you?
Points to Consider:
- If there is more than one individual above that you haven’t heard (by listening to an entire newscast/podcast of them within their own context), then it MAY indicate an unwillingness to hear, consider, or seek out opposing ideas, especially if those names all appear on one side of the political spectrum.
- If asking the above questions makes you cringe (or make assumptions about the author of this article for suggesting that open-mindedness should flow both ways), then you may want to read on to consider whether you may be a victim of polarized thinking.
A few decades ago, Stephen R. Covey published a best-selling book that should be required reading for every workplace today and a prerequisite for news reporters, media producers, politicians and business leaders. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People masterfully lays out a plan of action for growing emotionally intelligent leaders, by becoming well-grounded individuals. Of course Martin Luther King Jr., Dale Carnegie, Zig Ziglar, and more recently Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Oprah Winfrey, Brené Brown and many others talk about the resilience of the human spirit, the challenge to loving and serving others while being the best we can be. From reading their writings, I’m certain all of them would align with The 7 Habits as a way for individuals to be well grounded, live purposefully, and not fall prey to either polarized thinking or a victim-mindset.
Over the next few months, I’ll revisit some of the core themes from The 7 Habits because I think right now we are struggling as a society when we become collectively preoccupied with:
- Intimidating others into compliance with our beliefs (in opposition to religious freedom or free thought),
- Getting what we want at any cost (greed/power driven), or
- Painting ourselves or others as a victim (rather than empowering through service, choosing gratitude, and overcoming self-limiting or society-induced, systemic behaviors)
If that seems too idealistic, then let me challenge you as I challenge myself. Life is difficult. It always has been and always will be. However, am I trying to live on my own terms or in my own strength? I don’t believe any of us can make it very far in life on our own, and when we try to do so, we are doomed to experience an overwhelmingly negative downward spiral emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. (Imagine a toilet bowl sucking sound effect!) There is a better way! Imagine instead, an upward-climbing challenging-but-positive vortex of hope, life, purpose and love. This isn’t “happily-ever-after Disney-talk… not even close! It’s rubber-meets-the-road, boot-camp-life, true-grit, tenaciously-godly character marching forward with goodness, kindness, forgiveness, and purpose!
If you haven’t ever read it before, I highly recommend The 7 Habits. If you’ve read it but it’s been a while, you may find it hope-inspiring to read it again. In the meantime, ask yourself this:
- Is your work or social environment so political that you don’t feel safe sharing your opinions in this cancel culture?
- If you ended a friendship because someone voted for a different candidate than you did in a recent election, how can you be more curious than furious?
- What news sources do you regularly tune in to just to challenge your way of thinking?
- When was the last time you fact-checked something (beyond the news sources you heard it from)?
And while you are at it, subscribe to our newsletter here (where there is always a link to our blog), or tune in again next month to continue this conversation.